Many of us feel compassion for others but, do you feel it for yourself?

First, I will start explaining what is self-compassion. It is the ability to understand ourselves, treat our own selfs with kindness and avoid harsh self judgement. This skill allows us to feel our own suffering, to understand it and to find a solution for it. This way, we can avoid being too critical when we find ourselfs in difficult moments and we can remind ourselves that we are only human and we are not perfect. 

In order to practice self-compassion it is necessary to develop kindness, connection with humanity and mindfulness. 

Kindness refers to understanding ourselves and avoiding being aggressive with our own persona. 

Connection with humanity means we ought to think in suffering as a collective experience rather than a personal one. When we start to think that other people also experience suffering then we can put things into perspective, remind ourselves that suffering is part of everybody’s life and avoid thinking: why does this happen only to me?

Mindfulness is the act of being in the present moment. This allows us to see clearly what is happening like it really is and avoid overthinking, avoiding and/or denying what we are really feeling.

How can we practice self-compassion? 

First of all, it is important to have moments in which we can be in touch with ourselves; for example being in contact with nature and/or practicing meditation. This should be moments where we are alone and at peace. Second, we should try to see the situation from an outside angle and treat ourselves the way we would assist someone we love who is experiencing a difficulty. In addition, we should not confuse self-compassion with dramatization; we have to take responsibility for what is happening to us in order to find a solution for it and to assimilate the lesson this situation is bringing. Lastly, we should never lose hope; we shall develop a mindset where we recognize there’s still a world full of posibilites out there to improve our lives. 

If we apply self-compassion into our lives we can see many benefits in ourselves in the long rung.  These benefits involve an increase in our inner happiness, an improvement in our personal relationships, a boost in our internal growth, more introspection and patience. 

Make this practice a habit to improve your emotional intelligence and get surprised by its results. Finally, remember to be kind to others, especially to yourself. 

^{Kristin Neff. (2013). Resilience and Self-Compassion – Empathy and Compassion in Society 2013: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyjLKgfV7Sk}

^{Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identitym, 2, 85-101.}

^{Gilbert, P. (2009). Introducing compassion-focused therapy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 15, 199-208. doi: 10.1192/apt.bp.107.005264}

^{Araya, C., & Moncada, L. (2016). Auto-compasión: origen, concepto y evidencias preliminares. Revista Argentina de Clínica Psicológica, 25(1).}

^{Galve, J. J. G. (2012). Revisión del concepto psicológico de la autocompasión. Medicina naturista, 6(1), 5-7.}