Like many other people in the world, from time to time I have been guilty of not loving myself enough. I have come to learn that self-love is not a given for many people but rather something we have to work for with everyday actions. If we are disciplined at performing these actions, we can make them habits and increase our level of fulfillment. But, before we go deeper into this subject, what is self-love?

Self-love is appreciating ourselves. It is developing habits that nurture our physical, physiological and spiritual selves and it is having a high regard for our happiness and well-being. 

Everyone is different so everyone’s self-love actions are not necessarily the exact same. However, here are some guidelines we can follow to develop our own strategy.

Don’t forget about your basic needs.

This is a very important first step for self-love. Think of your body like if it was a fancy car and the kind of fuel you would want to fill it with. Do you want the lowest quality or the highest quality to keep it running? Talking about our bodies, the quality actions we can provide them are eating healthy, having good sleeping patters, exercising regularly and having healthy social interactions. 

Live in the present moment.

Thinking too much about the past can cause depression and thinking too much about the future can cause anxiety. Living in the present moment will allow you to be more mindful about what you like, think and want; thus getting to know yourself better. When we know ourselves we can make better decisions that nurture us. Also, being in the present will allow you to enjoy life more and to have better interactions with other people. 

Do what you need, not what you want.

A person that has a good self-love strategy knows that what feels good in the moment is not necessarily what is good for the long term. We should be able to stay away from automatic behavior patterns that can sabotage our growth and diminish our self-love. We need to pursue activities that keep us centered, fulfilled and moving forward in life.

Surround yourself by the right people and set boundaries.

Your inner circle should be made of people that nurture your soul; the ones that bring the best out of you. Remove frenemies out of your life or at least from your inner circle. Also it’s important to set boundaries. We should know our limits to avoid feeling depleted physically, emotionally and/or spiritually. Learning when to say no is a great way to show appreciation to yourself.  

Do not compare to others and be compassionate with yourself.

It is okay to follow role models in our lives but when we start comparing ourselves to other people based on unrealistic standards then this is no longer okay. This is likely to bring misery to our lives rather than improvements. We should focus on our inner growth and, also, remember that the journey for personal success and well-being is not a linear one and that is varies greatly between one and other. We should also be compassionate with ourselves. If we make mistakes that make us take a step back in our growth we should remember that we are only human, we are not perfect and making mistakes is just part of the process. 

Find your purpose.

You don’t need to have it clear what is it that you want to do in your life but you do need to know what your living intentions are. Do you want a healthy life? An active life? A meaningful life? In order to achieve whatever kind of life you want, first, you have to set your intentions clear. Then, find the actions needed to achieve your living intentions and ultimately you will develop more self-love. 

Remember that the more self-love you develop the better the quality of your social interactions will be, the more fulfilled you will feel and the better things you will attract. Good luck on your journey to self-love!